In the Detail

A guy often has the uncanny ability to know just what to say to a girl when courting her. He may whisper sweet nothings into her ear, send her a cute little text message, write a little cute note, or even serenade her. He also knows what to do that’ll impress her. A fellow may take her out to dinner, a movie, or dancing. He knows to give her a gift. All ‘noble’ gestures to get what he wants: the girl (and it works).  

All too often in my counseling practice I am visited with the same complaint by women with regards to their significant others; “He doesn’t do the things that he used to do.” Why is it that after a period of time some men often stop saying and doing the things that they have once said and done to get the girl? The short answer… “It’s a lot of work.” That being said… keep doing it. Gentlemen, it is a lot of work to show one’s love and affection toward one’s significant other. Perhaps you show your love by providing shelter, food, and protection; all noble, but these acts of love only meet the most basic of needs. Those things are only good for survival and who wants to only survive? Human beings need more to be happy. Women need more to be happy. 

A little goes a long way. It doesn’t take much to brighten your significant other’s day and to communicate to her that she is appreciated and loved.  A simple, ‘I love you’ may be just enough. However, “the devil is in the detail”. If a man has decided that he wants to be in a relationship, it probably behooves him to do it thoroughly and well. There is no half-assing a relationship.  In the paraphrased words of singer-songwriter, Oscar D’León, “Take her to the movies, buy her flowers, bathe with her, bring her breakfast in bed, treat her with much affection, whisper sweet nothings into her ear, and love her. She deserves it.” Do these things and when your girl, woman, fiancé, wife, significant other is asked how you and she are doing; she’ll undoubtedly respond, “Somos Felices”.

Dr. Roy A. Salgado, Jr.